I need some help. I’m sick of falling into sadness without a way forward. I feel as if the energies are better today than they were last night so I’ve decided it’s time to consult the cards about the issues I have been having, which I outlined in yesterday’s post. I decided to go with a simple three card spread asking “How best can I deal with my thoughts and feelings around my breakup? This is what came up…
Position 1 – What to do? Four of Swords
Respite from troubles. What could this mean? That I need to take some time out to think through the truth behind what I am thinking/feeling? I feel as if so much of my time is taken thinking about what happened, but maybe I haven’t given myself the space to truly understand the deeper side of the situation. What is it that is truly stopping me from moving on?
She lies there, clasping a sword with a sigil of an eye situated above her heart, as if seeing deep down to her true feelings. While the other three swords pierce through the fog that has been clouding her thoughts for some time. Next time I feel sad, or miss my ex, maybe I will take myself out of the current situation and contemplate what I am really feeling. Or maybe I just need some time away, I’m not really sure. I think this will require more thought.
Position 2 – What not to do? The Moon
Going purely on intuition, and what I see on the card, I feel as if this is telling me to stop looking only at the surface of things (the mask) and start paying more attention to what’s inside (the heart). Maybe the way forward is not through thinking about what happened, and trying to understand, but by creating space within and around me where my heart can feel free and happy?
Moving more into the well known meanings, The Moon card is all about illusions, fear, feeling bewildered. It can also suggest that one is deluding themselves. So what is it saying here? That I mustn’t let fear and anxiety take hold? That it is easy for me to be lead astray when I am sad and thinking about what once was? Or that I am lost, wandering aimlessly through the moonlit woods of my heart and mind, and that I must find my way back to myself in order to find clarity? Hmm, this reading is seeming more complicated than I had hoped.
Position 3 – What will help me move forward? Ten of Wands
Wow, really Tarot?!? The Ten of Wands (carrying a large burden or many burdens) once again in a ‘help me move forward’ position! So I didn’t learn what you were trying to tell me last time? That in order for me to move forward I must let go, let go of what I’m carrying, what is burdening me! I must strive to let go of the past, let go of the fact that I don’t have answers to a lot of my questions, and that I may never get them? Let go of the fact that I have lost the man I loved and with whom I saw my life moving forward? Goddamnit, I’m really no good at letting go! I see it as a weakness, as giving up, that if I don’t fight, I am just giving in! Maybe the cards are right though, and I need some Four of Swords time out, not only to seek the truth behind what I’m thinking/feeling, but also to spend some time around the idea of letting go, and why I find it so difficult!
Hmmm, this has given me a lot to think on. I do hope that I am able to follow the guidance more fully this time, and come out better for it in the long run. I do not wish to see Miss Dryad anytime in the near future, so I will have to concentrate on eliminating these burdens one way or another.
Until next time…