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I’m back…finally!

Woah!!! First of all sorry to my readers for the long, long absence. Looking back at all the other times I’ve felt neglectful towards this blog for not having written for a few days now seems silly in comparison. Suffice to say the last 40 or so days have been a roller coaster of emotions and physical exhaustion. The Fates threw some pretty hefty boulders my way that I have striven my best to deal with, but I’m now finally starting to feel as if I am coming out alright. The Tower and The Wheel have definitely made their presence known :P.

To fill you in, work has been so very stressful! There was a change made to the structure of the company I work for and during this time I was promoted to manager. While this is seemingly a good thing, giving me much more control and responsibility, it unfortunately came at a time where the livelihoods of all those who depend upon there jobs are in the balance, again due to the restructure. On top of that various problems have occurred in the workplace which have added fuel to the fire. So work has really just been a hive of stress and discombobulation. To add to that, I had quite the frightening health scare, which was utterly consuming my mindscape for a few weeks, and coupled with the stress from work literally took over my free time. Which is why you haven’t heard from me for awhile 😦

When all of this started to pile up, I simply stopped thinking about my cards for the rest of December, but it was for the best because it gave me time to rest, recuperate and ponder. On January 1st I said to myself that I would draw a card every single day without exception, which I have done, and it has been great to just have them there in the back of my mind each day! We are still yet to find out whether we will continue on in our jobs, so there is still stress there, but after a few tests it was confirmed that the scare was a false alarm so at least that’s cleared away :). And I’m finally starting to feel the urge to write again, so each free moment I have from now on is going to be put to good use rekindling this hobby of mine, and expanding my knowledge of the Tarot through card posts and a few readings when I can.

And look, my hair is growing quite well 🙂 :). Going to be down to my bum in no time :P.

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How have you all been? I hope life has been better for you over the holiday season 🙂

Until next time, live well xx

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A Passage Away from Difficulties – The Six of Swords

So as it turns out The Hanged Man’s message (seen in my last post) was much harder to take in than I expected! As those of you who have been reading my blog since it’s birth would know, 2015 has been a tumultuous year for me. But while there has been a lot of pain this year, it has also been a year of self-discovery and a deep questioning of what it actually IS that drives me! While this was spurred on by a negative emotional event, which to be honest has pretty much bled into most of my year, it has in turn helped me develop more positive and helpful ways of looking at pain and ‘negative’ emotions. But like most things, this is a stage of development that is going to require a lot of effort, and a lot of time! And during this stage there are of course going to be ups and downs, which I understand, but the fact that I have little control over this is starting to get to me! A month or so ago I was finally starting to feel like I was on the right track, and beginning to open myself up to the world again! To let my vulnerability see the light of day and venture out of the cage of safety I had created for myself since May’s events. But I never imagined it would be this difficult! It’s such an odd experience to feel like you aren’t the person you used to be, I find myself questioning every little thing I do, which is incredibly draining, and I no longer feel comfortable when in new or unfamiliar situations. I’ve tried to put myself out there lately, to meet new people, and get out of my comfort zone, but in these situations I find myself questioning every little thing I’m saying and wondering if the person sitting opposite me is even interested. And I am trying my best to listen to The Hanged Man and his message of letting go, I really am, but I think I’m scared that if I let go of the semblance of control I feel I have, I will be completely lost. And that thought frightens me! So after spending some time with The Hanged Man, I decided that it was time to pull another card of the day to see if the Shadowscapes had anything to help me through this process, and up came the Six of Swords.

The Six of Swords represents a state of despondency, those times when you feel like you are only just keeping your head out of the water, your not incredibly sad, but your not happy either. It’s a dull, listless feeling. But it’s not all bad, it shows that there is a way out! Quite often this card represents the beginning of a new phase after a time of upheaval, a journey away from a stage of unhappiness to a better place. It can represent a change in your frame of mind, or an actual physical journey away from a negative situation. And on top of that, there is help on this journey, you don’t have to do it alone!

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Six of Swords – Rider Waite Smith Tarot

Here in the RWS image we see a cloaked figure and a child, huddled together, being ferried off to an island in the distance. The figure is cloaked, which to me represents loss and sadness, that all too familiar feeling that occurs when you are leaving something behind in your past! Another important image that solidifies this is that the water to the right of the boat is rough and choppy, whereas the water to the left, towards the island and hence the direction they are going, is smooth and calm. This shows that the woman and the child are moving away from turmoil and conflict towards a calm and tranquil future. And this I think is the key to this card. Although we may be sad by our loss or predicament, as we move away from the past and its turmoil there is a sense of moving into a brighter future.

And then there is the ferryman, representative of the help that we may find along the way, and also importantly the 6 upright swords in the boat, representative of the importance of a logical frame of mind in these situations. Another way I like to look a these Swords is in the fact that they are not sinking the boat, nor weighing it down! In this respect it is important to realise that on this journey we may carry our past with us, but it will not weigh us down or sink us! Also I feel that the fact that they are coming with the woman and child on this journey shows that they represent something that the two figures have been dealing with for a long time, something that may no longer be painful but that stays with us throughout our life.

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Six of Swords – Shadowscapes Tarot

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Is the Tarot Playing a Joke on Me? – The Ten of Pentacles

Last night I found out some potentially bad news about my place of employment’s financial position. I won’t go into too many details, but they have taken some action to hopefully prevent them from having to close down completely. When I was informed I was obviously stressed, worried about whether I would loose my job and further down the line whether I will even receive my annual leave entitlements if the business went south. I have been saving up my annual leave for when I go away next year, like a locked savings account, thinking that was the smartest way to go! I bet you if I had drawn a card at that moment of realisation I would have drawn The Tower. I literally felt like things were about to fall apart. Then this morning when I woke up I was still thinking about the situation while drawing my daily card, hoping for something helpful to assuage my fears! And what did I draw, why the Ten of Pentacles.

Ten of Pentacles - Shadowscapes Tarot
Ten of Pentacles – Shadowscapes Tarot

Being quite cynical I laughed when I saw this, thinking that the Tarot was mocking me. How is the potential of loosing your job, your financial stability and possibly even a large sum of money you were relying on, a Ten of Pentacles moment? For those of you new to the Ten, I wrote about it here, so I won’t go into too much detail in this post, but basically it is the one card in the deck that represents the ultimate in worldly and financial success. It’s about enjoying the affluence you have worked hard to achieve and feeling secure in your place. This is the complete opposite to what I’m feeling!

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Weekly Reading Number Three – Courtroom Drama

Today I decided not to pull a Daily Card in favour of doing a reading. And as I am working my way through the The Alternative Tarot Course, created by the beautiful Beth from Little Read Tarot, I decided that I would do my third weekly reading :). Chapter 3 of the course was all about getting in touch with the Major Arcana! The Majors represent the larger aspects of our lives, the big changes that send us on a tailspin, those moments when we feel we are trapped in a situation, but also the times where we come to terms with our inner truth and learn that we in fact have everything we need to achieve what it is we want. It’s been a really good week and I may post a bit about some of the exercises at some point, but today is all about the reading for this chapter, entitled “Courtroom Drama”. This is a Majors only spread originally created by the French Tarotist Oswald Wirth in the 1920s. In this spread we imagine we are in a Courtroom and our situation is being discussed and judged by the ‘Majors’. It is a five position spread, where the fifth position is deciphered using numerology, an addition which I really liked :). You lay the first four cards out first, which are representative of:

Position 1: “In your favour” – What is ‘for’ your situation. A person, energy or influence that may be of help. Your key strength.

Position 2: “Against” – The negatives. Things working against you in your situation and hindering your progress.

Position 3: “The Judge” – This is the card that looks through the evidence presented by cards 1 and 2 and try’s to clarify where you stand, giving advice as to how to proceed.

Position 4: “Decision/Sentence” – The outcome. The lesson to be learned.

Once these are laid you add up the numbers on cards 1-4 and then if they are over 22 reduce them by adding the two numbers together. For example, in my reading the total was 36 – 3+6=9. So my centre card was The Hermit. The centre card is Position 5 in the spread but it is read first. This is because this card is what everything else depends upon and hence is the most important part of the reading! Now this spread can obviously be used for many different questions but in this instance Beth asked us to ask the cards a specific question, “How can I become a truly brilliant tarot reader?”

So now that you know the basic outline, here is my Courtroom Drama 🙂

Alternative Tarot Course Weekly Reading Number Two - Courtroom Drama
Alternative Tarot Course Weekly Reading Number Two – Courtroom Drama

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Let Go of Control and Possessiveness, and Soar Free from Your Cage – Four of Pentacles

It’s been quite some time since drawing a card from the Pentacles suit in my daily draws, the last time was on the 30th of September. I went through the whole of October without drawing one daily Pentacle! Today however, the drought has ended. The Four of Pentacles came to me today, which is interesting, because I don’t feel much of a connection with the card, and being the first Pentacle drawn in a long time I thought it would have been a different card to end the drought. But, it must have come up for a reason, so here we go, the Four of Pentacles…

Four of Pentacles - Shadowscapes Tarot
Four of Pentacles – Shadowscapes Tarot

The Four of Pentacles is all about Control and a desire to Possess. As you can see in the card above, we have the classical image of a gold-hungry dragon, coiled so very tightly around his hoard of gold. You can picture him lashing out fork tongued hissing, “Mine, my preeecciooous, stay away”, declaring ownership and endeavouring to prevent the Chameleons above from getting near his possessions. He is constantly on guard, worried that at any sign of weakness the Chameleons will swoop in and steal his gold. This is what happens when you become so concerned with your material possessions, so much so that they actually become a cage of limitations instead of something which should bring you pleasure and stability. You may be financially well off, and feel stable both financially and emotionally, but this is only because you are equating emotional security with money. This card portrays one of the biggest pitfalls of prosperity, the temptation and tendency to value money much higher than its true worth.

The Fours in Tarot are symbolic of structure and stability, and in this case this is a false sense of structure and stability that comes from a dependence on material comforts and security. A mindset of procuring as much as you can so as to feel safe and stable. The being in this card has created himself a type of protective layer out of Pentacles that he believes will prevent him from encountering any hardship. However, this is also blocking any form of change from occurring, which can in turn exclude others as the need for personal security takes over, making for a very lonely way of living! I like how Stephanie has made it look as if this way of living is leeching the dragon’s individuality and that his resistance to change is in fact making him indistinguishable from the gold which he holds so dear.

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