I’m back…finally!

Woah!!! First of all sorry to my readers for the long, long absence. Looking back at all the other times I’ve felt neglectful towards this blog for not having written for a few days now seems silly in comparison. Suffice to say the last 40 or so days have been a roller coaster of emotions and physical exhaustion. The Fates threw some pretty hefty boulders my way that I have striven my best to deal with, but I’m now finally starting to feel as if I am coming out alright. The Tower and The Wheel have definitely made their presence known :P.

To fill you in, work has been so very stressful! There was a change made to the structure of the company I work for and during this time I was promoted to manager. While this is seemingly a good thing, giving me much more control and responsibility, it unfortunately came at a time where the livelihoods of all those who depend upon there jobs are in the balance, again due to the restructure. On top of that various problems have occurred in the workplace which have added fuel to the fire. So work has really just been a hive of stress and discombobulation. To add to that, I had quite the frightening health scare, which was utterly consuming my mindscape for a few weeks, and coupled with the stress from work literally took over my free time. Which is why you haven’t heard from me for awhile 😦

When all of this started to pile up, I simply stopped thinking about my cards for the rest of December, but it was for the best because it gave me time to rest, recuperate and ponder. On January 1st I said to myself that I would draw a card every single day without exception, which I have done, and it has been great to just have them there in the back of my mind each day! We are still yet to find out whether we will continue on in our jobs, so there is still stress there, but after a few tests it was confirmed that the scare was a false alarm so at least that’s cleared away :). And I’m finally starting to feel the urge to write again, so each free moment I have from now on is going to be put to good use rekindling this hobby of mine, and expanding my knowledge of the Tarot through card posts and a few readings when I can.

And look, my hair is growing quite well 🙂 :). Going to be down to my bum in no time :P.

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How have you all been? I hope life has been better for you over the holiday season 🙂

Until next time, live well xx

A Willing Surrender to an Experience or Situation – The Hanged Man

I’ve been in a weird place over the last week or so, getting stuck in overthinking and worry. It’s funny, because nothing overly bad has happened, in fact there have been some really positive things that have occurred! But these positive possibilities have also been laced with downfalls, which I think is the main reason why I’ve been a bit stuck! The day before last I drew Strength, which is the card that the Tarot keeps sending me when I’m feeling at a loss. Ever since it came up as my major tool for this coming birth year in my New Years Spread, it has popped up as a reminder every time I’m feeling a bit weak! And then yesterday I drew The Sun, as if the Tarot was trying to tell me not to worry, all will be ok!  But I was still feeling frazzled, stuck in this cycle of thought centred on a situation I really have little control over! So today while drawing a card I decided to ask the deck outright what I need to do to get out of this energy, and what was her suggestion, The Hanged Man of course :P.

Could I have been sent a more suitable card? I don’t think so! The Hanged Man is all about letting go, and not in a forced way, but as a surrender or acceptance. It asks us to give up our hold on control, to surrender to our experiences, to be open and vulnerable and to end the constant stuggle that for so many of us is self-imposed! And I think it is this that is most important for me to take away from today’s card! Life is already hard enough, without imposing any other hardships upon ourselves! The Hanged Man also tells us that sometimes, in order to really see a situation for what it is/has to offer, we may need to suspend action, pause for a moment to reflect, and take the time to just simply be present. And if this doesn’t work then we might just need to take a real leaf out of this man’s book and reverse our view of the world.

The Hanged Man
The Hanged Man – Shadowscapes Tarot

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Is the Tarot Playing a Joke on Me? – The Ten of Pentacles

Last night I found out some potentially bad news about my place of employment’s financial position. I won’t go into too many details, but they have taken some action to hopefully prevent them from having to close down completely. When I was informed I was obviously stressed, worried about whether I would loose my job and further down the line whether I will even receive my annual leave entitlements if the business went south. I have been saving up my annual leave for when I go away next year, like a locked savings account, thinking that was the smartest way to go! I bet you if I had drawn a card at that moment of realisation I would have drawn The Tower. I literally felt like things were about to fall apart. Then this morning when I woke up I was still thinking about the situation while drawing my daily card, hoping for something helpful to assuage my fears! And what did I draw, why the Ten of Pentacles.

Ten of Pentacles - Shadowscapes Tarot
Ten of Pentacles – Shadowscapes Tarot

Being quite cynical I laughed when I saw this, thinking that the Tarot was mocking me. How is the potential of loosing your job, your financial stability and possibly even a large sum of money you were relying on, a Ten of Pentacles moment? For those of you new to the Ten, I wrote about it here, so I won’t go into too much detail in this post, but basically it is the one card in the deck that represents the ultimate in worldly and financial success. It’s about enjoying the affluence you have worked hard to achieve and feeling secure in your place. This is the complete opposite to what I’m feeling!

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The Power of Internalised Worry and Regret – The Nine of Swords

Fear, Worry, Anxiety, Regret, these forces have such an affect on us as human beings, and if left unchecked they can be so strong as to completely overpower us. I have definitely fallen victim to this during my life, most recently during the aftermath of my breakup, where I was constantly going over and over all the things I could have done wrong, all the things I could have changed. This got so bad that I could hardly escape from my thoughts! See this is the thing about these ‘feelings’, they are all well and good as pure emotion, some may even save us from a dangerous situation, but as soon as we feed them with our thoughts, they have the power to completely take hold off us. This fact is epitomised within my Daily Draw today, the Nine of Swords.

Nine of Swords - Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot
Nine of Swords – Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

These forces are the keystones to the Nine of Swords. Traditionally we see a figure, lying awake in bed, head in hands, with nine swords hanging above them in the dark. This is such a powerful image, for who hasn’t sat awake in bed at 3am, filled with worries and anxieties that just won’t leave us alone. Nighttime is when our griefs and fears have the most strength as we no longer have the distractions of the day to get us by. We sit there worrying, brooding over an issue, making everything seem worse than it is, despairing over all that we could have done differently. This card represents the deepest sorrow and mental anguish that the suit of Swords represents. Unlike the Queen who has been able to turn this sorrow into wisdom, or the Three which shows pain which seems to come from something outward but with a suggestion of acceptance and cleansing, the Nine shows the moment of agony overpowering us, the pain that we generate within ourselves!! The Swords which usually represent thought, communication and action have turned into weapons against us rather than tools of progress. The fact that the swords hang directly above the figure, and not through their back like the Ten, shows that quite often this pain is not something that’s happening directly to us, but as a result of someone we love. This is further evident in the pattern on the blanket. Here we see roses, the symbol of passion, interspersed between all of the Zodiac signs. This to me represents someone who can’t help but take on the pain of others.

Nine of Swords - Shadowscapes Tarot
Nine of Swords – Shadowscapes Tarot

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