We’re just over half way through February and I’m starting to see a pattern emerge in my daily draws. So far a third of my draws have been made up of three cards, Death, the Three of Swords and The Hierophant. To be exact it has gone Death, the Three of Swords, Death, The Hierophant, the Three of Swords and The Hierophant. Whenever instances like this take place I take note, for they usually have a strong meaning behind them.

Since the last time I posted a few things have changed in my life. February the 3rds daily draw of Death was definitely fitting. I was going through a transition in the workplace, from acting manager of a store that was potentially closing down, to manager of a store which was now staying open. I had to make a decision as to whether this was where I wanted to be and allow all the past thoughts and fears to wash away. In a way, like the Phoenix on the card, who is death, rebirth and life encapsulated in one image, I was going through a rebirth. I needed to cleanse myself of the negative thoughts and feelings towards my job during that unstable period, so as to begin afresh under this new ownership.

Then came the Three of Swords on Feburary 7. Whenever this card comes to me I have a whole body reaction to it, it’s one of the only cards that does that to me. I think that subconsciously there is still a lingering link to my most recent heartbreak. I am so much better now than I was 6 or so months ago, but to be completely truthful I am not fully healed. The Swords have been removed, but the scars are definitely still there. I am still afraid of opening my heart back up. When this card first came to me I wasn’t 100% sure whether it was to do with that past situation or to do with my present. For recently a new person has entered my life, a person whom I really enjoy spending time with and who makes me feel happy inside. It wasn’t until the next day when I drew the Two of Swords, the card of conflict between heart and mind, that I began to think of the Three’s potential meaning. To be honest with myself previous to this draw I felt like I was split in two, half of me really wanted to pursue this budding relationship, to throw myself in completely, but the other half, the logical half, kept bringing up the fact that I had been planning on leaving the country in August (if not for good then for a long period of time). I was and have since been stuck in this conflict between what I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. And I fear that heartbreak may ensue, I’m just not sure whose heart it is that the Swan represents.

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